Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
