what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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