the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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