dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
