So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize