If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
