Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
