He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
