i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
