Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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