420 ftw
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize