Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
