3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
