Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
