"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize