Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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