Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
