think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He passed out mid-signature
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
