"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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