there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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