blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
