i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
