How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
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