I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize