im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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