Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
