I feel like abortions should bother me more
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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