why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
