YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
