dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
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