when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
