I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It's never too late to be topless.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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