they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
