with your own penis?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Your cock deserves a montage
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
