Buhtt sex?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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