Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
