Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
