I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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