please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
