By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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