therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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