I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
