woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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