Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
