Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
