so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
