i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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