Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
