just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
