I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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