White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
