Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
