I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
