Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Randomize
