I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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