then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
