I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
