nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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